Well, hello again Friends!
When Carol asked me
to guest post again I honestly had the hardest time coming up with a
topic. I like to think I’m pretty
clever, but when you’re preparing a post for another person’s blog there seems
to be a little bit of pressure that comes with it. So I decided to treat it like I would if
someone asked me to speak in church and told me I was free to choose my
topic. My guidelines for that situation
is that it must be:
1-
Something I truly believe in.
2-
Something relevant to my life.
3-
Something that is appropriate and not TOO
embarrassing.
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I was standing in line at Target on Saturday and was
casually listening to the conversation that the cashier and a shopper were
having. They were talking about life and
getting super personal about marriage. I’m
not sure how it came up; maybe they knew each other. I just pretended to be
really interested in the jerky and candy assortment in the checkout area so
they didn’t get creeped out by my intense listening. The conversation got really juicy when the
cashier asked the shopper how many times she’d been married. Long story short, I found out that they were
both currently married to their second husband.
The cashier then said, “Yeah, they say the second marriage is the best
and happiest marriage.” The shopper
agreed but then they went on to talk about how both of them were beaten in their first marriages and they
now disagree and fight a lot in their second marriage. But boy, are they
happier!
I didn’t even know what to say to the cashier when it was my
turn to purchase my items because I was so sad for her.I know it’s not my place to judge. I know that my life isn’t better than theirs and that I’m not perfect. I don’t know their lives, the situations that they really are in and the choices they have made to get them there. I do know, however, that life is short and we deserve to be happy and to be treated with respect. There is nothing I hate more than settling. OK, I also hate whales, “50 Shades of Grey,” drive-thru windows, and the stalky white part of romaine lettuce. We’ll save that for another day.
I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve been judged for
being “too picky” just because I’m single or people have given me sad puppy
eyes because they think I’m some lonely old cat lady without a husband or
kids. Newsflash! I don’t have cats
either. I have a roommate I barely talk
too and a picture of a bunny wearing a crown on the wallpaper of my phone
because I can’t even commit to a pet right now. That’s apartment life for you. Oh, and did I mention that I don’t date? I
don’t do anything to try to date but you get what I’m saying. I’m not picky,
nor would I ever settle, and I would never wish someone to be in a relationship
just for the sake of being in one. I see
this a lot and it makes me sad and a little angry.
No matter what faith you belong to, I hope you believe that
there is something bigger than you out in the universe, that you are here for a
reason, and that you are unique and special.
For me, I believe that God put us on this Earth and He wants us to be
happy, to be kind to others, and to be kind to ourselves. This can be hard. People do rotten things sometimes. We get
bugged by the way we look, we get down on the way our life is going because we
think we are meant to do so much more or because we are comparing our successes
to someone else’s. And, “Why can’t we
find our (immortal) Augustus Waters for crying out loud?!” The truth is that life isn’t a feel-good
movie. Life isn’t perfect, but we can
make choices that will help us have a happier life.If someone in your life is making you feel like you aren’t a special creation of worth who is loved by God and others, then I believe you should seriously reevaluate that relationship. I’m talking friendly or romantic here, people. I think the best thing I’ve learned in my life is that if you truly love someone then you should be able to be open and honest with them about anything. If someone you love is treating you like garbage or is making you feel sad then you need to talk about it! Don’t tip-toe around it and hold your feelings in and only confide in the cashier at Target or other irrelevant people. Be an adult and go to the source to solve the issue. You can do it in a loving way without blaming. Simply state what you’re having a hard time with. Someone who truly loves you will work on it and try to do better.
When all is said and you’ve given 100% and if they still
aren’t willing to meet you there ... then you do what you’ve got to do.
(#BYEFELICIA). Please don’t just settle with unhappy friendships, relationships
or situations just because you’re worried about what people will think or
because you’re afraid of it getting worse. The world is filled with so many
people and we aren’t meant to be besties with every one of them. We are, however, meant to have a happy life
filled with wonderful people we love and who love us back.
If you aren’t willing to have the conversation then you
should really evaluate the relationship.
Do you really love them? Do you
respect and love yourself? Please find someone to talk to about this if the
answer to these questions are no and you still can’t walk away. I most likely don’t know you but I really
believe that you are worth something.
Picture what advice you would give your best friend if they were in your
same situation. You would probably tell them how they are worth way more and that
they deserve better and to be happy. I bet you would. Try to take that advice! You should treat yourself like your best
friend—a concept I’m still working to achieve.
{Now, I don’t want to
downplay abuse at all. If you’re scared
and can’t find a way out then please seek professional help or go to another
loved one who will help you get out of the situation safely. Abuse is disgusting
and should never be tolerated.}
Resentment is gross and takes too much time. Cut it out.
Find your worth and believe in it.
Try to be kind even when it hurts.
Respect others and expect that same respect back.
You, my dear, deserve to be happy :)
You can read more and follow Jennifer's own blog at Anything But Ordinary ! Find her first guest post HERE.
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