My Best Daily Practice
One of the
best things I've done for myself is to take perfection off my table of
expectations! One of the benefits of doing so is admitting that I am a human
being who makes unintentional and intentional mistakes. Furthermore, I interact
with other humans who do the same. Such errors can be in my personal life when
I miss a crucial date, say something I shouldn't or otherwise screw up. In
terms of my professional life, I can forget a meeting, blow off a deadline or
do something that I should not. Of course, others are guilty of making similar
or other mistakes that affect me. So what am I to do?
At the end
of the day, I have a choice: unpack my bag of mistakes and deal with them OR
carry them into the next day. Simply put, am I going to forgive or hang onto
the offenses on the road to building a first-class grudge? I have found that the best thing to do at the end of each day is to
forgive and to move on. Please note that I did NOT say stuff your feelings
but rather acknowledge and deal with them. Facing
the feelings is at the core of forgiveness. The feelings may be small and
more easily dealt with bigger ones that have likely hit old nerves.
I define forgiving as "A premeditated decision (NOT a
feeling) to let go of negative feelings toward someone who has hurt you."
If I wait until I FEEL like forgiving, I may never get around to it
(particularly if the offense hits an old nerve). Rather, I CHOOSE to forgive so
that I will feel better. Hanging onto the negative feelings takes
energy I would rather expend in more positive ways.
Think of
forgiving as making a healthy choice for YOU! When I made the choice to start
forgiving on a daily (if not more frequent) basis, I began feeling better
physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Oh and if you are waiting
for the other person to forgive first, then I have a question for you: Why are
you giving YOUR power to somebody else? You have the capacity to feel better
without somebody else's involvement. That's a much easier route to take!
Most
importantly, forgive yourself because then you will feel better about yourself
and in turn, about others as well.
Jane Freund is an author,
encourager, speaker and book coach who has written 17 books and helped over 70
people achieve their publishing dreams. Her latest book is "Fascinated
by Forgiveness - A Practical Guide for Forgiving & Being Forgiven". In addition, Jane taught
Communication for ten years at Boise State University. Her books can be found
at http://www.amazon.com/Jane-Freund/e/B003U516LY/, https://www.etsy.com/shop/JaneFreundship, and Smashwords. You can find
her on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/janefreundauthorspeakerandbookcoach/
Jane, you are amazing thank you for this little rendition of forgivness.
ReplyDeleteTruly it is about feeling better 1st about you self and 2nd about others. So very well put here.
Thank You again.
Tiny Kirby
Jane,
ReplyDeleteYour advice is right on and should be read and followed by everyone. People take what they think is the "easy" way out by holding a grudge or seeking revenge. You are so right that their presumed easy way out is actually using more energy and effort. The world would be a much better place if people followed your advice.
Sharon Anderson
Bravo! Well said! Thank you my friend for this. I needed it today.
ReplyDeleteJane, you are brilliant and so very wise! Thank you for giving so much energy to the importance of forgiveness.
ReplyDeleteJane, thank you for the wise and timely words. Well done!
ReplyDelete