Guest Blogger: Jane writes about her best daily practice
Meet Jane Freund, an author, speaker and book coach based in Boise, Idaho. Previously, Jane taught Communication for ten years at Boise State University.
My Best Daily Practice
One of the
best things I've done for myself is to take perfection off my table of
expectations! One of the benefits of doing so is admitting that I am a human
being who makes unintentional and intentional mistakes. Furthermore, I interact
with other humans who do the same. Such errors can be in my personal life when
I miss a crucial date, say something I shouldn't or otherwise screw up. In
terms of my professional life, I can forget a meeting, blow off a deadline or
do something that I should not. Of course, others are guilty of making similar
or other mistakes that affect me. So what am I to do?
At the end
of the day, I have a choice: unpack my bag of mistakes and deal with them OR
carry them into the next day. Simply put, am I going to forgive or hang onto
the offenses on the road to building a first-class grudge? I have found that the best thing to do at the end of each day is to
forgive and to move on. Please note that I did NOT say stuff your feelings
but rather acknowledge and deal with them. Facing
the feelings is at the core of forgiveness. The feelings may be small and
more easily dealt with bigger ones that have likely hit old nerves.
I define forgiving as "A premeditated decision (NOT a
feeling) to let go of negative feelings toward someone who has hurt you."
If I wait until I FEEL like forgiving, I may never get around to it
(particularly if the offense hits an old nerve). Rather, I CHOOSE to forgive so
that I will feel better. Hanging onto the negative feelings takes
energy I would rather expend in more positive ways.
forgiving as making a healthy choice for YOU! When I made the choice to start
forgiving on a daily (if not more frequent) basis, I began feeling better
physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Oh and if you are waiting
for the other person to forgive first, then I have a question for you: Why are
you giving YOUR power to somebody else? You have the capacity to feel better
without somebody else's involvement. That's a much easier route to take!
importantly, forgive yourself because then you will feel better about yourself
and in turn, about others as well.