The first challenge to
creating change can be summed up in this statement. “You are going to have to
get over yourself.” Before you decide to be offended, please read on. I think
you will agree.
While it is true that
the first step to creating change is recognizing the need for, or having a
desire to, change, that’s not the first obstacle. Obstacles or challenges occur
once the decision to change has been made. If there is no need or desire for
change, then there can be no hurdles to clear.
Why would I state
something so harsh as, “You are going to have to get over yourself?” Isn’t a
desire for self-improvement the very thing that pushes us to set goals, step
out of our comfort zones, and learn new skills? I would argue, “Yes.” I am not
suggesting that one abandon his or her desire for improvement. Rather, I would
submit that he must abandon those things, usually thinking habits, that are
keeping him from moving forward. Let me illustrate with a running story. (I
know. I use these stories a lot. Hey, life is hard. So is running. That’s why
running is such a good teacher.)
I was once a
non-runner. At the tender age of 47 (you read that right) I became a runner. Runners
run. That’s all there is to it. Non-runners who wish they were runners tend to come up with all kinds of excuses why they can’t,
shouldn’t, or won’t run. I know. I found several of my own.
“I’m too old to
start.” Yep, I said that.
“I don’t like to
run.” I said that one a lot!
“It hurts to
run.” Uh-huh.
And then there is this
one …
“I don’t want anybody
to see me trying to run.”
Well, for those of you who are hanging onto this excuse, I have some news
for you. NOBODY is looking at a runner and thinking this …
“Boy, that runner sure
does look stupid.”
Nor this …
“That runner shouldn’t
be running. She’s too big, old, fat, short, weak …”
In fact, those
non-runners driving by in their cars with their car snacks by their side are
most surely thinking something like this …
“I wish I were a
runner. I wish I was strong enough, brave enough, in shape enough … to run.”
I know this to be true.
I was once one of those non-runners. And
the runners that happen to be in a car while you are running are thinking …
“I’m jealous. I wish I
was running right now.”
“Wow. I hope I can
still run when I’m as old as that guy!”
“I am so proud of that
runner out there getting in shape! Way
to go, Runner!”
Early in our running
quest my running buddy and I would search for the most hidden routes we could
find to avoid being seen, but I got over that. I have learned that if I admire
other runners when I am inside a car then surely others are not judging me
while I am on the run. This applies to runners and non-runners alike.
It doesn’t matter if
you have great running form or a cute outfit. The car riders cannot tell what
your pace is and they don’t care. They only know that you are out there putting
one foot in front of the other. They respect that, especially if they, too, are
a runner. So get over yourself and just run!
Let’s take a look at those same excuses as
they apply to other lifestyle changes.
“I’m too old to start a
new job, write a book, lose weight, and so forth.” For every “too old” argument
you can find, there is someone older than you making those changes today.
“I don’t like change.”
Most folks don’t, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t a worthy pursuit.
“It hurts to change.”
Yes, this new venture is probably going to be a bit uncomfortable.
“I don’t want anybody
to see me trying …” Because you might fail? Not trying is failing.
NOBODY is looking at you and thinking this …
“Boy, she sure is
stupid to try to change!”
Nor this …
“She shouldn’t be
going back to school or making a job change. She’s too dumb, old, fat, short,
weak, tired, poor …”
In fact, most people watching you strive for
self-improvement are going to be cheering you on thinking something like this …
“I wish I were doing
something new and interesting. I wish I was strong enough, brave enough, in
shape enough, hopeful enough … to change.”
I know this to be true. I’ve been one of those
wishing for change. We’ve all been there, hesitant to strive. The others that
are well on the road to their goal? They are your best cheerleaders …
“Look! There is a
striver, a goal setter! Maybe we could
help each other!”
“I’m jealous. I wish I
was working on my goal right now.”
“Wow. I hope I can
still learn new things when I’m as old as that guy!”
“I am so proud of that
person out there making improvement! Way
to go, Person!”
I have been guilty of
keeping my goals to myself, much like my running buddy and I tried to avoid
being seen. I have learned that if I admire others for their attempts to achieve,
then surely they are not especially critical of me while I am striving for
self-improvement. In fact, they are most likely cheering me on.
It doesn’t matter if
you have it all figured out. The passersby do not know how far you have come or
how quickly you are improving and they don’t care. They only know that you are
out there putting one foot in front of the other. They respect that, especially
if they are striving to better themselves. So get over yourself and just work
towards your goal!
Achievement Exercise #1:
Begin by making a list of all your excuses - all the reasons you can't.
Then address each excuse. Is it actual or perceived? Can it be overcome? Is the goal greater than the obstacle?
Clear those hurdles, cross them off, and move forward!
Are you still feeling
offended? Tell me what is keeping you from beginning your quest for
self-improvement?
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