Guest Blogger: Kristey writes about love

Hello! I'm Kristey. I love to write, it soothes me, and some of it may interest or even help someone. I gave birth to 4 amazing people, and I live in a sleepy little town outside of Boise Idaho, where I drive a school bus! I am an active member of the LDS church. I love to laugh and tease, but I have a mean streak that most people will never see.  I can be a little eccentric at times. I love to look at train tags, and I can never get enough chocolate. I dream of water often, and love to be in it or near it. My favorite beach in the world (so far) is Point-No-Point Beach near Kingston, Washington, where I lived for 8 years. I am constantly at battle with a weird, re-appearing black monster in my head and I am prone to addictions. I love to help people talk out their problems, and feel better.  I am not big into animals, but I can appreciate them.  I hate spiders, bullies, and seafood. I hope to be a published writer someday!

 

BIG GIRL

I am a big girl. I have always been a big girl.  I spent a huge chunk of my life hating myself, for that reason. I hated the fact that not only was I ashamed of the way I looked, but I felt powerless against the people constantly pointing out my size, or ignoring me because of my size.  I felt powerless to stop my self-loathing - always wishing I was thinner, trimmer, smaller.  I was never happy with my appearance, and always watching for someone to give me that "ewwwwwe" look.  Always looking for the perfect outfit that would make me look good.  Always wanting to be beautiful.  Always wishing for guys to pay attention to me like they did the thin girls. Never wanting anyone to really look at me, because they would see all my insecurities bulging out of my skin. 

 

It is ironic to me that being "more" of a person (aka fat) can make you feel like "less" of a person.  Less valued.  Less worthy of love.  Less than human.  Less feeling.  It is one of the most looked down upon, prejudiced conditions that a person can be in.  Big people get discriminated against all the time.  Big people are often stereotyped as lazy, smelly, gluttonous, without discipline, and unattractive. Here's the thing: is being big REALLY the worst thing a person can be? What about a liar? A cheater? A mean person? Think about it … people don't snicker and point when a mean person walks by!

 

Okay, let’s get to the point . . .

 

I'm not advocating that we shouldn't take care of the bodies we are blessed with; we should be doing all we can for our health.  I am saying that when all is said and done, EVERYBODY deserves love!  Yep. We can love ourselves no matter what!! Too thin? You can still love yourself. Too tall? Yep. You can do it.  Stinky? Love yourself. And guess what? Iit works for other things, not just body types!! Missed a deadline? Love yourself anyway.  Are you a sinner? Love is the answer.  Bad hair day? You guessed it. . . love. Ate half a cake?  You know the answer! 

 

Every person in the world has a problem.  Fat is my problem. (One of them, anyway) but everybody deserves to love themselves.  Everybody has a DUTY to love themselves.  Most of the true and lasting changes I have made in myself were because I loved myself!!

 

Love is a VERB, an action.  Something we DO.

 

How do I love me? Let me count the ways   . . .

 

*I try to workout and take a walk every day, because it makes me feel better - physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally.  It’s just good for me.

*I limit sugar and processed foods because they make me feel worse - in every way. 

*I remind myself that everyone has flaws and insecurities. Mine just happen to be really obvious.

*I do the best I can. (Most of the time.)

*I tell myself "I love you.”  I just look in the mirror and do it.  Then I smile because I feel good.

*I am kind to myself.  Would I say the things I tell myself to another person?

*I remind myself over and over as many times as it takes that my Father in Heaven loves me too, and it’s all going to work out fine.

 

Love is power! If you really want to improve yourself, try starting with loving yourself unconditionally.   If you are a big person, take that big restroom stall! Take the front seat in the car because you can't climb in the back!  Smile at those people who are looking at you from the corner of their eye when you eat in public! It doesn't matter what they are thinking! You know something that they don't. You know you are every bit as important, special, and worthy of love as anyone else on the planet! And that's true no matter what your problem is :)

 

Kristey Jensen

 

 

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Happy Running!