Finding Home in Montana

Coach Beck's Cricket

I recently shared a post about things Coming Home to Montana, items that are returning along with me. This post, however, is about things new to Montana, items that just seem to fit here. Interesting enough, my husband, a native Idahoan, is adjusting nicely to this new life. As of yesterday, we are both registered voters!

This little guy belonged to my dear friend, Coach Beck. She kept him on a table near her front door and each time I visited, I mentioned that I wanted her to will it to me when she died. (I’m older than her, but I couldn’t help trying!) Imagine my delight, and tears, when she placed it in my hand before I made my official final journey to my new home. He is perched near my front door on the pedestal at the bottom of my stairs. He just seems to fit there. I think of Coach Beck each time I pass by him.

Bonnie's Stained-glass

This stained-glass window hanging was made several years ago by my little sis, Bonnie. She never lived in Montana, but she has already been here to visit! It is decorating the window also at the bottom of my stairs. It adds a splash of color and delicacy to the stairwell. I think it fits nicely.

Another dear friend, Dana, pieced this lovely lap quilt and gave it to me after a term of shared service. I love it! I’ve taken it in the car on some of my trips back and forth during my Montana Move. It found a home in the living room. I’m certain it will have many opportunities to warm a body or two in the winters that lie ahead. Again, I think it fits my Montana home just right.

Lastly (for now), these items have been collected over time. The mirror was a recent purchase. The blown glass candle holder was a gift from another sis, Judy. (I have a lot of sisters!) I purchased the pitcher and vase many years ago, before I was married, as part of some pottery I was collecting at the time. They found their home atop a china hutch that isn’t really a china hutch. It is a pair of ends to our entertainment center that was too large for any wall in our new old (built 1920) house. Oddly enough, it didn’t fit as a set, but it serves a needed purpose.

Not really a hutch!

There are many other items that are “settling in,” just like me. The antique dining chairs, the items in the china hutch, family photos and bedroom furniture are all finding their spots. Even my cinnamon rolls and power cookies have discovered a friend or two!

What does it all mean? Was I “destined” to return to Montana? Perhaps. I like to think, however, that life is adaptable – that one can kind find a home wherever their road takes them. A home and friendship and comfort can be found wherever we go. I think that is because we don’t really find those things, we bring them with us. Would you agree?

Running Granny Green encourages women, especially grandmothers, to gain greater fitness by providing tips and inspiration to insure long years of joyful grand-parenting. The cookie recipes are a bonus!


Happy Running!
Carol - aka Running Granny Green

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Guest Blogger: JoEllen writes about Relationships

JoEllen Claypool is back for a second guest blog post. JoEllen is the author of The Secrets Behind the Eyes,  A Realist’s Guide to Being a Pastor’s Wife, Realistic Tips to Being a Pastor’s Wife, Are You on the Verge of a Spiritual Heart Attack  and a contributing author of the Eclectic Collage Volumes 2, 3 and 4. She serves in the ministry with her husband who pastors a small country church in Caldwell, Idaho. Understanding the impact that one person can make, JoEllen is eager to reach out and encourage others to make right choices so that lives can be saved.

THEY'RE EVERYWHERE! THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!

There is not one area of your life that you can visit where there is not a relationship with someone or something. Yes, they're everywhere! Think about all of the people that you interact with on a daily basis. Chances are, you interact with infants, the elderly and everyone in between. When you are not engaging with people, including your own self, you are having a relationship with inanimate objects: food, the TV, your computer.

Recently, I made a pie chart. The irony of that last statement just dawned on me, as one of the relationships I have is with unhealthy food ... like pie. That's an issue for another day, but I charted every hour of my day and categorized where my time was going focusing on relationships. How much time did I focus on my children? How many hours of my time did my husband get? Am I getting enough me time? How much energy was being spent on other relationships? I did this every day for a week and then combined the week's findings into one big chart. It was interesting and it showed me where I was doing well and where I needed to concentrate more efforts.

The truth is there are only so many hours in the day and they need to be used wisely. Here is another truth. Relationships take time. Your relationships with the TV and the computer take time, time that could be used nurturing human relationships. Ouch. I am speaking to myself right now. You cannot expect to have healthy relationships with people without spending time with them.
  
It is easier to steal time away from certain areas in your life for the people in your home. The balance comes when building relationships with groups of people outside of your home. You probably have pockets of people who are in your work environment, your church setting and your groups of friends. Keeping these relationships healthy is very important as well, but where do you find the time?

Well, your work hours are set, so utilize that time to "SEE" that group of people. When a church activity is scheduled, make the most of those opportunities. Take the time to truly see behind the masks that so many people wear just to survive the moment before them. Many people have built walls that are hard to break down. Maybe you are the one with the wall. We have to take risks in relationships and may have to be transparent. You have something to offer and there is a reason people are brought across your path. You need to understand that your words and actions within these pockets of people could impact their lives! What great opportunities we have everyday to make someone smile!
 
Enjoy the moments you are able to sneak in with your friends. The older we get and the busier our lives become, the harder it is to carve out time for people. That was a difficult adjustment for me when I first realized this truth. I have learned that friendship takes on a different role when you are older. I do not have the time to go hang out at the mall, but I can make time for a phone call. There are still ways to reach out and connect.

Be perceptive to the nudgings you get no matter which group of people you are with at the time. Someone in that group may need a kind word, a healing touch, a listening ear. I want to encourage you with this: take the time to look someone in the eye; you never know when they are going to let you see them.

I would love for you to visit my blog, Making the Most of Every Opportunity. You may be interested in my featured post titled "Be Careful With the Bananas" which shares more regarding relationships.

Read JoEllen's previous post

Slow Down! You Move Too Fast!

Visit my Guest Blogger page to get to know all my blogging friends.

Running Granny Green encourages women, especially grandmothers, to gain greater fitness by providing tips and inspiration to insure long years of joyful grand-parenting. The cookie recipes are a bonus!

Happy Running!

Follow me on Twitter and Facebook and Instagram.

Guest Blogger: Jane writes about her best daily practice

Meet Jane Freund, an author, speaker and book coach based in Boise, Idaho. Previously, Jane taught Communication for ten years at Boise State University.

My Best Daily Practice

One of the best things I've done for myself is to take perfection off my table of expectations! One of the benefits of doing so is admitting that I am a human being who makes unintentional and intentional mistakes. Furthermore, I interact with other humans who do the same. Such errors can be in my personal life when I miss a crucial date, say something I shouldn't or otherwise screw up. In terms of my professional life, I can forget a meeting, blow off a deadline or do something that I should not. Of course, others are guilty of making similar or other mistakes that affect me. So what am I to do?

At the end of the day, I have a choice: unpack my bag of mistakes and deal with them OR carry them into the next day. Simply put, am I going to forgive or hang onto the offenses on the road to building a first-class grudge? I have found that the best thing to do at the end of each day is to forgive and to move on. Please note that I did NOT say stuff your feelings but rather acknowledge and deal with them. Facing the feelings is at the core of forgiveness. The feelings may be small and more easily dealt with bigger ones that have likely hit old nerves.

I define forgiving as "A premeditated decision (NOT a feeling) to let go of negative feelings toward someone who has hurt you." If I wait until I FEEL like forgiving, I may never get around to it (particularly if the offense hits an old nerve). Rather, I CHOOSE to forgive so that I will feel better. Hanging onto the negative feelings takes energy I would rather expend in more positive ways.

Think of forgiving as making a healthy choice for YOU! When I made the choice to start forgiving on a daily (if not more frequent) basis, I began feeling better physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Oh and if you are waiting for the other person to forgive first, then I have a question for you: Why are you giving YOUR power to somebody else? You have the capacity to feel better without somebody else's involvement. That's a much easier route to take!

Most importantly, forgive yourself because then you will feel better about yourself and in turn, about others as well.

Jane Freund is an author, encourager, speaker and book coach who has written 17 books and helped over 70 people achieve their publishing dreams. Her latest book is "Fascinated by Forgiveness - A Practical Guide for Forgiving & Being Forgiven". In addition, Jane taught Communication for ten years at Boise State University. Her books can be found at http://www.amazon.com/Jane-Freund/e/B003U516LY/, https://www.etsy.com/shop/JaneFreundship, and Smashwords. You can find her on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/janefreundauthorspeakerandbookcoach/

Visit my Guest Blogger page to get to know all my blogging friends.

Happy Running!

Follow me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram!

Guest Blogger: JoEllen writes about slowing down

Meet JoEllen Claypool, the author of The Secrets Behind the Eyes,  A Realist’s Guide to Being a Pastor’s Wife, Realistic Tips to Being a Pastor’s Wife, Are You on the Verge of a Spiritual Heart Attack  and a contributing author of the Eclectic Collage Volumes 2, 3 and 4. She serves in the ministry with her husband who pastors a small country church in Caldwell, Idaho. Understanding the impact that one person can make, JoEllen is eager to reach out and encourage others to make right choices so that lives can be saved.

 

Slow  Down! You Move Too Fast!

In the busy lives that we create for ourselves, two major things can happen.  First, we don’t allow others to see us and second, we do not slow down long enough to really SEE other people. To make things even more difficult, many people have become accustomed to wearing masks that prevent others from seeing who they truly are.

Why are we so afraid to reveal ourselves and what stops us from confronting the person that is wearing the mask? Either one is scary.  We risk losing friends when we let people see the real us. We risk judgment.  Confronting the mask wearer is just as uncomfortable. We risk making them feel we are judging them.  We risk losing that friend. Is it really fear, though, or are we just too busy to take the time for each other?  

Masks can put us in bondage. I think of the old plastic Halloween masks. They would stifle our voices. Our words would be distorted. Masks can muffle what we are trying to say. The more that people don’t hear us, the more we withdraw into our world. Remember what it felt like, though to take those plastic Halloween masks off?  Whew!   It would feel so good to be free from that moist, stuffy covering!  

I am guilty of wearing masks, but I have to say it really is refreshing when somebody truly sees me. One time that impacted me was right after our house fire.   We were trying to move forward and get back into a routine.  A friend of mine stopped by to see me. She walked in and smiled and said "How are you doing today?"

 I was so thankful that I had remembered my mask.  It was a magical mask with the button so I immediately pushed the button and heard the joyful voice say, “I’m blessed! Things are great! And how are you?” 

My friend lost her smile, pulled up a chair and took me off guard by saying, “Great … now how are you really doing?” Panic! I know I remembered my mask! Is the button broken? Didn’t she hear what it said? I’ve never been one to think quick on my feet. I immediately covered my face and the tears flowed as I whispered, “This sucks!”  It’s okay to admit that sometimes life is hard. I had been trying to convince everybody else and myself that I was okay and I was strong. To quote the Scooby Doo villains, “I would have gotten away with it too if it hadn’t been for that meddling“ friend. Oh, my … thank goodness for meddling friends. It took a huge load off to have somebody have the courage to confront me and the mask I wore. I was able to be transparent with her. My friend had slowed down long enough to look me in the eyes and see past my mask. She took a risk and confronted me.

When we slow down, not only do we see our own surroundings with fresh eyes but we see those around us in a new light. Everyone has a story. Everybody is dealing with something.  So, instead of hurriedly patting someone on the shoulder as we pass by them, muttering a quick but kind word, we can take the time to look into their eyes and have a better chance of perceiving what words they truly need to hear that day.  We need to start SEEING  other people.  Think of the impact that could be made if we would just slow down!

 

You can catch up with JoEllen on Facebook and find her books HERE on Amazon.

 

Watch JoEllen's video, Real Faces of a Pastor's Wife. 

 

 

Visit my Guest Blogger page to get to know all my blogging friends.

 

Happy Running!

 

Misery Loves Company: An excerpt from my next book

High Desert Half Marathon

Here is another sneak peek from my current writing project. This book has a different focus than my previous works. It’s coming together and on schedule to be released shortly after the beginning of 2015, just in time to get everyone excited about the racing season – OR NOT if that isn’t your thing.

This excerpt is from the "Misery Loves Company Lesson."

When I adopted the habit of running I also began talking about it like a fisherman talks about his latest catch or a Monday morning quarterback talks about the Super Bowl. Running had added a new dimension to my life and enthusiasm for all the new things I was learning spewed forth. I had no idea that Nike shoes were narrow in the toe or that there were so many other options with which to be shod. I shared this knowledge with my friends.  I learned the importance of hydration for myself and began prescribing fluids for every complaint my friends and family shared with me.  I began requesting running gear and sports watches for my birthday and Mother’s Day with long explanations of the merits of different name brands and styles. I now know that I was much more interested in my new adventure than were my friends.
The only people who truly want to hear you discuss your running adventures are other runners and they mostly listen politely so they can have a turn to share their adventures, too.  Nobody else cares. They don’t care about your running shoes or your favorite sports bra.  They don’t want to know which sunglasses fog and which do not.  They are not interested in your nagging Achilles tendon or your stretching routine, your newfound relationship with ice and ibuprofen, or what dead animals you saw on your morning run. Many assume that you are running your way to a hip or knee replacement and they think that is stupid. In fact, most non-runners are convinced that runners are crazy.  Maybe we are. They don’t run and they don’t want to hear about your running passion – until they begin to run.
A new runner will welcome your wealth of knowledge and empathize with your aching hamstrings.  A new runner will ask where to buy shoes and how far you ran this week. They won’t ask why you run, because they understand that it is different for every runner and often the answer is many faceted.  They don’t care why you run, new runners are simply glad to have a comrade’.  Oh, and they will talk to you all day about running.

What did I learn from the Misery Loves Company Lesson?

Our painful experiences are most valuable to those enduring similar hardships by allowing us to show true empathy. We really do understand what they are going through and they have confidence that our sympathies are genuine...

You can read the rest of this essay when The Hard Run: Painful Lessons from a Running Granny comes out in January.  The book is available for pre-sale at a reduced price on Etsy.

Happy Running!

Things I am Grateful for ...

Here is a photo essay of things I am grateful for.  If you find yourself surfing the net today and run across this blog post, I hope these pictures trigger thankful thoughts of your own.



Love of my life!

These guys

All of these!

Temples

The Gospel

Snow!

Palm Trees!

Sunsets



Baby toes!



Gardens

Ice Cream!

Airplanes



Irrigation water and my boat

And cookies!

These are just a few of my favorite things!  What are some of yours?

Happy Thanksgiving and ...

Happy Running!

Guest Blogger: Jane Freund writes about friendship

Meet Jane, this week's Guest Blogger!  Jane Freund is an author, speaker and book coach based in Boise, Idaho - and she is my friend. See what Jane has to say about friendship.

 

A Freundly Investment

Here's a fascinating fact: You have 168 hours in your week (no more and no less). What you do with those hours is based upon the priorities you set. For me, with all of the possible activities I CAN do, one of the activities I know I NEED to do is make a Freundly investment with some of my precious 168. Let me explain more.

Since I was a child, I have had a fascination with friendship. This passion began with the realization that my last name "Freund" means "friend" in German. Although painfully shy as a child, I began a deliberate effort when I was in junior high to become more outgoing and make more friends. The further I delved into friendship, the more interest I developed in the topic. In fact, my first book, "The Fine Art of Female Friendships"  is on the subject of friendships and I continue to write about and speak on the topic.

I define a friend as somebody who strives to put my best interest first and for whom I strive to do the same. Notice that I say "strive" because I don't expect perfection from my friends and I don't want them to expect it from me. Besides, perfection would be boring.

Speaking of boring, the benefits of friendships include getting to know people who are different than yourself. I would be bored if all of my friends were like me. I learn so much by connecting with people who challenge my thinking and teach me things I did not previously know.

Another benefit to friendships is to build a support team. Some of the most functional people I know have built a network of friends to be an integral part of their lives. By doing so, they have a support team of people to help them through illness, grief, family dysfunction and other struggles. When I had thyroid cancer, my friends were an incredible support as I recovered from the surgery and worked to get my synthetic thyroid balanced. (NOTE: You can read more about my cancer journey in my book: "Eggshells and Elephants")

However, the benefits of friendships are not limited struggles. Friends are terrific for sharing our victories and triumphs. My friends have cheered me along through each book I have written and the other personal and professional successes I have achieved.

OK yeah friends are important and all that's good stuff, but how are you supposed to make and to keep friends when you have your precious 168 hours in a week? Books have been written and more are yet to be done on this topic. For now, let me share some tips that have helped me be successful and effective in the friendship department.

-          The seemingly little touches can have the biggest impact - I use texting to share quotes with friends, check in for a quick chat, or otherwise communicate that I am thinking of them.

-          Reach out on social media to give a personal touch - I have a friend who is a math professor. On Facebook, when I find a funny quote or picture related to math, I post it to her Facebook wall. That's one way I show her that I am thinking of her and let her know I am glad she's part of my life.

-          Pray for each other – Part of my precious 168 is taking time to pray and including the requests of those who are near and dear to me only make that blessing even more precious.

-          Make a regular appointment - I have a friend I meet with once a month for coffee. We meet the same day of the month at the same time but change the place every once in a while. By having a consistent meeting set, we increase the likelihood that we're able to get together. Sometimes life happens and we can't meet but that's where daily forgiveness kicks in and we move on.

-          Take personal responsibility – Saying "I am sorry" or "Please forgive me" are two ways to strengthen existing friendships or repair ones that are damaged. In a "just saying" society, taking personal responsibility can be very refreshing.

Certainly, friendships (AKA "Freundships") can be time consuming and take away from your precious 168. However, doing so can produce results that make the efforts very worthwhile. I challenge you to learn more about how to make friends and the benefits of such friendships. Better yet, make a Freundly investment in your current and future friendships. What are you waiting for?

Jane Freund is an author, speaker and book coach based in Boise, Idaho. She has written or co-written 16 print, audio and electronic books including "Best Friend Worst Enemy – Overcoming Self-Sabotage in YOUR Life" and "Wily Riley the Coyote Conqueror". Her latest book, "One Breath Closer to Heaven" will be available in November. Previously, Jane taught Communication for ten years at Boise State University. Her books can be found at http://bit.ly/visitjanefreundsonlinebookstore (if you want to support local business) and Amazon.You can find her on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/janefreundauthorspeakerandbookcoach

Last week's Guest Blogger, Jennifer, wrote about "ME" time.  Read it here.

Happy Running!

 

 

Cross Country Practice Begins

Securing their timing chips at State Cross Country 2011

Cross country practice began today.  I’m not a coach, but I do volunteer to help with the team.  That means I run with them and try to encourage the stragglers.  The trouble is I am often one of the stragglers.  Running with high school kids is a challenge!  I am already looking forward to the day the middles school runners begin practicing in a couple weeks.  Some of them are more my speed.

It isn’t the mileage that gets to me.  I can go the distance.  The speed, however, is a bit more challenging.  We only ran a total of four miles today and my legs are already crying at me.  I know … it’s good to push myself.  (I preach that all the time.)

Something I enjoy most about cross country, aside from watching kids learn how to push themselves, is the camaraderie amongst the team.  Maybe it has something to do with mutual respect as each runner knows the effort involved in the sport.  Chatting with a teammate while logging miles and miles is sure to build a friendship.  Maybe it is an “us against them” attitude fostered by the lack of popularity and glory associated with cross country.  Spectators are welcome, but they, too, will be called upon to log a few miles if they hope to view much of any race.  Whatever the cause, cross country athletes bond together and cheer one another on towards achievement.  They become friends much like family and they take pride in the fact that while other athletes are punished with a mile run they can say, “A mile run?  That’s just our warm-up.”